ache
For chronic illness, embodiment, and the quiet violence of pain.
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NeuroDivine Update
A quieter day from me. Dialysis was tougher than expected—my blood pressure dropped sharply, and we couldn’t remove as much fluid as planned. It looks like I’ve put on a bit of weight, which explains the hand and leg cramps even without reaching “dry weight”. So while we tried to regulate the BP, I was… Continue reading
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River. Forest. Abbey.
The River Bann has long been a place of refuge for me. As a Venture Scout, I learned its rhythms from the seat of a canoe—the quiet pull of the current, the soft slap of water against the hull, the sense that the river always knew where it was going. I found the same calm… Continue reading
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Nights. Washed. Empty.
Sleep has been hard to come by lately. With my kidneys no longer working and life shaped around thrice‑weekly dialysis, you’d imagine that the hours after treatment—when the blood is cleaned and the body should feel lighter—might bring some rest. But even then, sleep doesn’t come. It’s a strange kind of exhaustion: tired in every… Continue reading
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Machines. Mercy. Meaning.
In the long, measured hours of dialysis, I began to notice how healing is carried not only by machines and medicine, but by the people who sit beside us, the families who steady us, and the landscape we carry within. This hymn‑poem grew from that stillness—a way of naming the courage found in ordinary care,… Continue reading
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Rise. Renew. Forgive.
A reflection and a new hymn based on Baruch 1.15 – 2.10 and Matthew 20.1-16 rooted in the landscape of the Irish midlands. Continue reading
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Shift. Grace. Arrival.
A quiet reflection for a day shifted out of rhythm—when plans move, the centre wavers, and yet presence meets you exactly where you are. In the midst of a rearranged moment, a promise settles close. Continue reading
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Mercy. Foundation. Grace.
A week’s end reflection on prayer, stability, and sustaining compassion… Continue reading
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Ambulance. Care. Trust.
During dialysis this morning I experienced chest pain and difficulty breathing. I’ve been placed on oxygen and dialysis was stopped so I can be checked out. An ambulance has been called. I ask for your prayers and a little extra grace today. Continue reading
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Seeds. Scars. Solidarity.
In the grain of wheat, in the dialysis chair, in the scars of memory — prayer becomes fruit. Continue reading
AnglicanTradition, AutisticFaith, Benedictine, BenedictineRhythm, BenedictineSpirituality, bible, Christianity, ChronicIllness, ChronicIllnessCommunity, ChurchOfIreland, CompassionInCare, ContemplativePrayer, Dialysis, DialysisLife, DialysisSpirituality, Faith, god, health, IrishSpirituality, jesus, LifeOnDialysis, LiturgicalLife, LiturgicalReflection, LiveWithADisability, ModernMonasticism, MonasticWisdom, NeurodivergentFaith, NeuroDivine, OraEtLabora, PatientVoices, Pilgrimage, Prayer, QuietCourage, QuietMoments, RedRibbon, Routine, RuleOfLife, RuleOfStBenedict, SacredRoutine, SacredSpaces, ScriptureAndStillness, SmallMercies, Spirituality, SpiritualJourney, WorldAIDSDay -
Waking. Walking. Watching.
Isaiah 2:1–5 | Psalm 122 | Romans 13:11–14 | Matthew 24:36–44 “I joyed when to the house of God, Go up, they said to me.” The old cadence of the Scottish Psalter still rings oddly in my ear. Its word order feels unfamiliar, almost comic, yet it lingers—memorable because it was passed on by David… Continue reading
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Known. Warned. Sent.
A Friday reflection where Psalm, Prophet, and Gospel weave together—reminding us we are searched, cautioned, and commissioned, even in the waiting chair. Continue reading
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Train. Threshold. Grace.
Sixteen years of World AIDS Days. One early train from Monasterevin. As Dublin prepares to light up in red, I journey once more to Beaumont — a quiet threshold of care and grace. This reflection weaves together memory, movement, and the promise of Monday’s gathering. Step into the rhythm… Continue reading
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Resilience. Ritual. Road.
The week ahead is not just endured but offered — a mosaic of care and quiet courage. Continue reading
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Humility. Dependence. Praise.
On a Monday marked by interruption and endurance, the readings remind us that humility restores, pride collapses, Christ heals in the pauses, and creation still sings a new song. Continue reading
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Thirst. Storm. Mercy.
Even in delay, presence remains—better the last place inside than absence outside. Continue reading
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Silence. Trust. Rest.
After Compline, silence is not emptiness but communion—fertile ground where trust deepens and rest becomes prayer. On this Thursday of reprieve, I let quiet be my healing. Continue reading
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Cold. Dialysis. Light.
On a bitter November morning, the Rule’s wisdom meets the hum of the dialysis machine. Even in the cold, daylight becomes mercy, and faith becomes rhythm. Continue reading
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Measure. Mercy. Murmuring.
Even in weakness, the portion given can be enough—if blessed without murmuring. Continue reading
BenedictineSpirituality, Christianity, ChronicIllnessCommunity, ChurchOfIreland, ContemplativePrayer, DialysisLife, Faith, FaithAndHistory, LiturgicalReflection, ModernMonasticism, MonasticWisdom, NeurodivergentTheology, QuietMoments, RuleOfStBenedict, SacredSpaces, ScriptureAndStillness, Spirituality, SpiritualJourney -
Measure. Mercy. Joy.
In the hum of the machine and the weight of bread, grace is found in sufficiency. Continue reading
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Stone. Silence. Soul.
At a silent table, a single voice rises—not to perform, but to nourish. Today’s reflection weaves promise, endurance, and the ministry of reading into a rhythm of presence. Come sit with the reader, the servers, and the soul that endures. Continue reading
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