NeuroDivine

Pronouns matter because they name presence. They mark the difference between being seen and being assumed, between being addressed and being overlooked. In liturgy, in friendship, in care—how we speak of one another shapes how we honour one another.

There’s a rhythm to pronouns: I, you, we, they. Each one carries relational weight. “I” is not just selfhood—it’s accountability. “You” is not just the other—it’s invitation. “We” is not just community—it’s covenant. “They” is not just distance—it’s dignity. When someone tells you their pronouns, they’re offering you a key to that rhythm. They’re trusting you to speak of them as they are, not as you presume.

It is not merely polite—it is essential—to use the pronouns that individuals prefer. This is not about trend or ideology. It is about truth. To honour someone’s pronouns is to honour their personhood. It is to say, “I see you as you are, and I will speak of you accordingly.”

And yes, “they” as a singular pronoun is part of this honouring. It is not new. It is not “woke.” It is ancient, grammatical, and deeply relational. English speakers have used singular “they” for centuries to refer to someone whose gender is unknown, unspecified, or nonbinary. It appears in Shakespeare, in the King James Bible, in everyday speech. It is a tool of clarity and care.

In monastic life, names and titles are given with reverence. Brother, Sister, Friend. These aren’t just roles—they’re recognitions. Pronouns are part of that same recognition. They’re not grammar; they’re grace.

And in the quiet spaces—chapels, hospital rooms, garden paths—pronouns become prayers. To say “he” when someone is “she” is not just a slip. It’s a fracture. It says, “I did not listen.” But to say “they” for someone who has never felt safe in “he” or “she”—that is healing. That is hospitality.

So pronouns matter because people matter. Because language is sacrament. Because to speak rightly of someone is to love them rightly. And in a world that often misnames and misgenders, choosing the right pronoun is a small act of justice. A small mercy. A holy noticing.